leaning towards paranoia

"i think i'm paranoid"
[not the Garbage song]-> mind you!

paranoia's not that bad after all...


what i am trying to say is, it seems like it would be better if one is prepared for certain scenarios/situations that may (or may not) arise. it is, as what td jakes advised, being a few steps ahead, preparing a few steps ahead, being aware.. so you are not caught off-guard.

gone are the days when you can live life relaxed (to the extent of leaving your house door open without worry). or maybe even just leave your bag beside you rather than clutching it throughout the train ride, the meal, etc.

see, i had my wallet stolen yesterday. my bag was beside me and unbeknown to me, somebody decided to sit beside my bag and rummage through it. dang. i'm usually paranoid but yesterday i decided to chill. and also decided to withdraw $80 bucks so my usually empty wallet won't be so empty for the next few days.

smart move.

i'm still lucky it wasn't a hold-up (which would have freaked me out, naturally), that my new ipod (present from Ed) and my phone (with numbers that I haven't backed up) didn't follow the whereabouts of my wallet, and that I have idle atm and credit cards in the house so I don't have to wait 3 or so days for replacement cards. anyhoo, it's all good.

taught me:
to simplify - less clutter
to detach myself from the temporary things of this world

"Do not lay up treasures on earth where moths and rust destroy, where thieves break in and steal."

I can hear God say "for I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you." I think that put me to sleep last night.

God was hugging me to sleep.