Hellish

I am so having one of those days.

Deprived of a much needed rest, still rocked out of bed 15 past 5 in the early morning, got dressed and dragged me tiredness to the train station to catch that supposedly zooming locomotive that would get me to work right before the clock strikes 6.

It was a helluva shift with my state and other things I can only dub uncontrollable. I lived through it all and here I am sitting in front of my "workstation" having eaten something I've whipped up after so many weeks of not cooking.

Checked my emails. Heard from the mag and whoa, the ed-in-chief that I've known since July has vanished and decided to take on a role in Brissie. And so we've got a new ed-in-chief who sent through a list of assignments to everyone. Deadline's the 5th of January.

With the holidays around, my best bet is to pick ones that can be knitted into the Sydney intinerary of the vacationers.

Fingers crossed.

Excess Baggage and The Blog Spirit

Apparently I do not seem to be carrying weights on my shoulder. I wouldn't really now for sure but I just wanted to make sure I do enough reality checks on myself to keep that to a minimum. I guess that whole depression thing sort of co-existing with me for X number of years when I was growing up did help.

Somehow I felt a tad down today coming from my doctor's appointment. I guess no matter how mild the "abnormality" is, there's still that adolescent in me that sent my brain the "something's wrong" signal. I just need a tad more iron and zinc in my system. That's it. I've got my medicine ready. It's just a matter of religiously taking them for the next 6 months. That's a long time. I hope I can hack that.

Went shopping. December sale is on. Bought a few christmas pressies and a few tops. I was getting a good deal as far as I am concerned. Still need to write my christmas cards.

Well, well.

one turning point

I feel really drained at 11:44 pm this day, having woken up at 6:30am. Went through one of those Sundays where I crewed for Hillsong TV. Caught up with Pitter and Irene over lunch just after midday and then headed back to church with Na and met a bunch of new friends.

Morning was a blur until after the first service but I did not stuff things up, which is fabulous. It was the ultimate church day as I had a bit of a low in the arvo which was offset by what the morning and the evening services brought to me.

Was moved beyond words during the evening's annointing service. I just gotta sit down and relax.

Been beaching lately. Couple of trips to Manly Beach to enjoy the sun and have a bit of a walk around which also consisted of steak and ribs dinner with Casey and Amy, and an art cafe experience plus a two hour monopoly game with Rosa, Na and Jenny. Jenny ruled the board and I was the pauper.

I, the ultimate fan of the structured bad, bought what I would call a beach/dance bag. It was my first ever pink bag, not counting the little sling bags I've owned when I was a kid. Got it from Bondi last week. It's a Mimco. I'm such a big fan of Mimco.

Had to have the bag exchanged couple of days ago cos it was slightly damaged. What's cool is the girls in the store were ultra nice about it and very accomodating.

First ever Carols at the Domain last night. It was quite an experience just sitting amongst millions of Sydney-siders on the grass listening and singing christmas tunes sung by some of the big names of the land. Apparently the previous ones were better.

I'm so loving Sydney.

The Ultimate Breeze Through

~ The Hippie Adventure: Take It or Leave It?

I spoke of that job interview prior to my Finance exam. That was for an organization involved in community work, activism and the like. I didn't get the job I wanted but they offered me something else. Something that involves menial work, which I do not really mind doing but it's not on top of my list. And so I have let it slip down the drain as they rang me when I was holidaying in Tassie and then the dude who rang me went on hols as well. So really, whatever.

However, it brought to my awareness that there exists a World Youth Congress happening in Scotland mid next year. Yes, I applied for it. If I get in, I might just go to Scotland. An excuse to go to Europe and who knows where else.

~ Travelling Tassie

My first stab at the backpacking experience. We travelled rather economically and given the destination, it did not require too much moolah. I spent a fair bit of time contemplating and calculating my finances and the possible lack thereof. I do not desire to struggle in the near future with my meager income and my love for all things good (the food, the arts and what have ya).

Tassie life is so surreal. It is nothing like what I grew up with. It was seeing my primary school art works come alive, realizing how I used to be ultra obssessed with clouds and mountains and greens. Nights in Tassie are rather dull with hardly anything to do, so much of a contrast from Asia or just even Sydney. Should I be made to live there, I might just go nuts. Either way, I'll definitely get to work on my creativity.

~ Exceeding Three Degrees

And so I have passed my Masters degree with utmost glee on my part. I have bid my academic life a good farewell with very little desire to welcoming it back. Well that does not mean I will not ever study again but I have no intent of gaining a fourth degree for sanity's sake!

I shall embark on whatever journey that invites me and that I find appealing.

~ The Big Ponder On Sydney

I told Na I was looking into Melbourne and its appeal as a possible next destination. Life does not end in Sydney. No way. But I know I'll be here for a while. I am just starting so let's say I'll be here a few years.

There's church life to consider. I took a 2-week hiatus from Hillsong because I had exams and was on holidays. My cell group involvement is looking good again. Though I haven't started joining a new group, I have a lead now. Went to the Christmas special last night and crewed for TV this morning. I reckon I did well and can move on soon. Hopefully, I get to be on camera by February.

~ Tu or Ubsten?

I'm taking up Spanish. Languages are pretty tricky but I feel the need to keep learning, not wanting to shrink my pea-sized brain further. Besides, there's Josc to speak Spanish with anyway, not to mention the elites back home. As if! ;)

I'm currently struggling to manage my relationships. I've gotten to know myself in a number of ways, also recognizing the fact that I am a sole survivor with the tendency to be clingy should I be caught off-guard, attributable to my need for recognition, slight self-esteem issues and perhaps the lack and/or excess of certain nutritional elements in my diet.

Typical me to psychologize myself. But to sum things up, I'm just forced to deal with difficult people in rather squishy situations. Funny how some other friends from miles and miles away are in the same murky pool. What's even funnier is that you who want out would have to help your own pitiful self.

breaking the silence

I constantly find myself going inhale... exhale..inhale...exhale... in an effort to calm myself down and achieve a zen state of mind. Perhaps calmness is something the denizens of the fast lane long for on the one hand but feel guilty having on the other.

I am finally done with my academic life. I feel good, with minimal pressure on finding a full time job as oppossed to last time. I would attribute the difference to the wisdom that comes with age (read: a simple change in perspective), the current environment I thrive in, the lack of in your face expectations and just the fact that I do have a source of income.

Just got off from a bit over a week's worth of holidays. Pretty good but now is the time to make more $$ for more travelling. Got a bonus from work, expecting another one soon.

Holiday details coming up in future blogs.