The everyday Friday week!

I've been feeling like it's Friday since Tuesday. Perhaps it's the casual garb that I have so happily embraced and which the others ignored. I wondered why. I was happy I could wear whatever I want although it would have been better if I could rock up at any time I please, and also leave work anytime. As my boss would say, 'dreams are free.'

Fri
..........
Prep for Saturday. Been tired from the previous night's lack of sleep but heck it's the real Friday. I can't believe I've reached the maximum amount of emails sent in an hour that I have to wait for the next hour to continue sending.

They are just christmas greetings that I wanted to send across. And for the lack of things to say and the lack of energy to come up with something, I have resorted to le foto of something rather abstract but not really and slapped a bunch of text on it. Anyhoo, I still cannot believe yahoo has such limits - limit as to how many people you can send an email to and another limit on how many emails you send in an hour. At this day and age, I would have though... ahhh such is life.

Nice to catch up with friends during the course of the day and good to spend some quiet moments at home. I AM getting old, afterall.

Thurs
..........
My Kris Kringle forgot my pressie and left it at home so the following day, she left it on my table. It was the size of a pack of cigarettes - 'deck of cards' a la good food guide! It was perfect. Only thing is, the places are mostly on the 'been there, done that' list. Oh well. I still love it.

Lunch meeting with Dan. Good to catch-up and to know where things are film festival-wise. Sigh. If only I can do such things full time.

Post work, had to go grab a shirt as I felt so icky and was just dying to get out of my icky top. Wrong day to have such a dilemma as it was crazy Thursday shopping! The fitting rooms have long lines and all. I almost spent a whopping 140 bucks on a country road top. Decided against it cos it was white and I have to get something of a dark colour to match my undergarments.

Met up with Nic, did some shopping with her. Located Amy and then went for dinner. Shopped a bit more, met up with Annfen and her friend and went for coffee. Talked forever, caught the last bus for the day to the lower north shore. :)

Weds
..........
Lunched with Leanne. Final one for the year. Went home after work, just straight to bed after dinner. Was uber tired.

Tue
..........
Lunched with Diane. Haven't seen her for what seemed like months and there were a lot of catching up left undone.

Mon
..........
Can't remember much from Monday. It was dreaded as usual. Spent the lunch hour chilling.

Sun
..........
Went for the annointing service at Hillsong. Good as usual. There are more things to reflect on this year. Time for me to grow up. Funny how my growth has been gearing toward knowing the Holy Spirit and they prayed about that particular aspect. It's not funny, really. It's amazing.

what's MY problem? what's YOUR problem?

*loud groan + loud sigh*

i feel deprived of my security blanket.
hence the need for a certain degree of extreme outburst.

work christmas party at the sofitel on friday. so-so food but good fun. had my fair share of dancing. haven't danced for so long.felt good. i miss jazz so much. the sydney dance company kinda jazz. but wait for me, SDC. i'm coming back end of jan 07.

test drove a toyota yaris with a friend today then had nice lunch at glebe (one of the artsy suburbs in my A-list). headed off to Hillsong to crew on tv then met up with friends for dinner/dessert. miss those gals, especially Nic who's been MIA the whole time i was MIA and maybe even longer. love them who made my 2006 worth looking back to in the years to come.

am seriously tired. i've made an effort to make this day good. now i feel the strain (perhaps partly caused by the dancing last night) and the need to keep my door shut for a while.

hugs. i need to work on my screenplay.

The Radish, The Chill Pill, Lost in Translation and Casual Days

Mum found some radish in Chinatown. I used to love 'em veges but haven't seen any around for so long...

Lunchie with Na tomo to catch-up and all...

Was good to see Leanne. She told me that when I was at home she saw 5-6 angels by my bedside whilst I sleep.

Casey's going to the US in March! !@!%&@*&! I am soooo jealous!

I love Sophia Coppola. Can't wait for Marie Antoinette come Boxing Day! I got a Lost in Translation DVD from Leanne!

Casual days at work... kicking off tomorrow til 5 Jan. Aaaaahhh. :)

23degree summer.

I smell soil. Ick. It's probably not soil. It's more like something else and it's making my tummy turn upside down.

Last day of my holiday today. But hey, there's christmas day and boxing (marie antoinette!) day and new year's day and 2007!

*still wondering and pondering.*

Seriously. Tired.

OMG. I've never felt THIS tired for a while. Been walking and did a bit of cardio at the gym plus walked around the shops some more, coffee with mum, coffee with a friend.

It's all good but yeah I'm so tired and I haven't gone through everything in my to do list. Note that I've got one work-free day left.

I let out that big sigh in front of mum and she went 'if you want to go on a forever holiday, just go home. you can always go back home and do nothing.' Nothingness back home is really nothing. Nothingness here is not quite nothing. The latter is actually a lot of things, but nothing that's going to generate some constant flow of moolah.

ARGH.

I know what I want but I don't quite know how to get there. 'It's not a very good time for you to let go yet', my friend observed. And I have to agree with her cos that's what I've realized during my work-free days.

THINK! THINK!

For the time being, I just gotta grin and bear it.

Yawn! Eeek! Argh! Yuck!

i see a brown / white cat all stretched out and yawning with all its might.

speaking of cats, there's a persian one that visits us every night. it's got one of those green glow-in-the-dark type eyes that seem to go after you... it's our neighbor's cat. was telling mum that it probably comes into our backyard to poo beside where the possums poo. eeek.

there was a big branch that feel from one of the trees and then got stuck right outside my window. was trying to punch the screen that i cannot open. punch it without breaking it... but the branch won't even budge. ack. i wish the possums won't play around with it tonight and go scratching against my window screen! yuck!

i feel like pouring disinfectant on those possums. they can be cute but only when they're behind glass doors and far away.

RainySunday

RainySundayFunday

Another cold day, which I'd prefer over a hot day especially when I'm staying home. I'm not being a lil cruella wishing everyone who can roam free feels the gloom. I mean it can still be sunny but with a cool breeze. It just means my room's gonna have that nice coolness about it as opposed to being hot and yucky.

Realized my dictionary is so crap. It never gave me the info I wanted, apart from that concise meaning of a word. My bro seem to deem it of use. It's got a lil fly stuck in one of it's pages, which is really gross but heck I don't use it often enough to really care. Bwahaha.

Bro landed in Filoland about 11pm (Sydney Time) last night. Bet ya he's happy to be home. Can't wait for him to fly back, though. All those stories and realizations... will there be any of the latter? I really wonder...

Been listening to my opium - Jamiroquai's latest album, Dynamite. However, it doesn't seem to emit the same groove + beat as his previous albums. I gotta say it's still got that retro-ish feel about it that I love. So fair dinkum.

Today's Movie: Roberto Benigni's La Vita e Bella.

Another thing to look forward to:

another one of those revivals

current revived ambition:

to be a hippie (not the try-hard nor the wannabe that I currently am).

current campaign:

pro-minimalist

(like a couple of guys I know who went from being uber materialistic to deciding they'd rather have just enough of what's necessary)

current state:

the blob that left the hospital is slowly turning into a human being.

one sans exercise, that is.

hence:

the progress so far...

getting the hang of using le mouse

wondering whether i've started living my life

wondering why friendster is so SLOOOOOW

happy with my pro-minimalist photoshop skills

click-happy pretend photographer with not enough things to photograph

sound-trippin' like there's no tomorrow

pure Jars Of Clay for today

maybe it's time to inject some Jamiroquai

les photographies

ponderings..

I was told I should be learning to live with whatever ailment that was bestowed on me.

Eh? Isn't that what I've been doing?

I haven't been paranoid about this and whatever stress I feel is not caused by worrying over what ails me.

Moreso it is caused by having to do what I don't want to do and forcing myself to go through that as part of my daily routine.

The word routine in itself brings forth stress.

I've listened to Joseph Prince the whole morning talk about Grace&Favour. DVDs courtesy of Hillsong TV. And other than the grace and favour which is undeserved merit from God, he did talk about faith and also not making God an excuse a la 'way out'.

Totally driving me nuts. I need more guidance. Perhaps a big whack should come with it. Any shrink volunteers?

the supposedly new and updated to-do list

oh no, i'm getting hungry again!

it's 10 something pm and if anything, i should be going to bed.

though i did sleep the whole darn afternoon

(right after lunch til a good half an hour before dinner).

currently downloading gazillion of fonts as i've never updated the font library in my laptop. i think back and regret that i never brought my font library from home 5 years ago.

the then font-savvy PC is now in some dumpster (read: storage at home).

on with the long overdue list...

1.

read a book - check!

Tale of Genji by Lady Murasaki

horrible translation to English, too bad i cannot read Japanese. perhaps the culprit as to why i slept so much today

+++

finished the book and well, planning to send it off to someone who'll appreciate it more.

it's still good. just that i don't see myself rereading it.

2.

call doc's office tolock in August 07 appoitment - oops!

that's right, you gotta book in waaay in advance!

+++

tried booking the appointment yday and guess what? i was told to call in January!

3.

get rid of PC rubbish

+++

pretty much done, except for the rubbish that's in the external hard drive!

4.

install fonts - wonder how this will be done considering there are gazillions and they're all zipped up!

+++

yay! done!

5.

improve photoshop skills

thank goodness for tutorials online!

6.

catch up on DVDs

heaps of Hillsong stuff (freebies)

old VCDs (yes, VCDs I bought in HK during the VCD heyday!)

misc DVDs from friends

7.

'manage' my finances

more like check my bank account to see if i can survive for the rest of the year.

8.

learn after effects

9.

get on with the article editing

10.

eat. NOW! - done

weekend recap

i currently feel like a kid with no agenda whatsoever. the kid on summer holidays who can sleep any time she pleases and wake up when her eyes decide they've been shut for too long.

got back from the hospital around midday post radiotherapy. whilst i had one of the longest, most boring weekend ever, it ain't as bad as last year's treatment. felt less isolated due to the fact that the hospital staff would actually come in to bring me food and such. no stool by the door and you actually feel cared for. i got choices of food and best of all i didn't have to shell out a single cent.

i am, however, presently confined in my room and will not be able to work until the very end of next week. unpaid leave. fortunately, i cannot go out so there's hardly any temptation to make any purchase, big or small. except i've been looking at the lomographic fisheye two camera online...

met up with fiona for lunch last thursday. was good to see her after coming back from that little asian getaway tour she went on. passed me some meltykiss from mummy ratna! after work, it was coffee with bella from the JPM HK office.

used to work with her but never really got to know her until i was about to leave. nice gal. she's probably a bit younger than me (i feel so old due to stress and radiotherapies). kinda felt bad that i didn't get to take her around but oh well. kinda hoping they'd send her back so we can eat out and go to the weekend markets. she was in tokyo prior to sydney and she gave me all these japanese goodies! they're all gone now cos I've munched on them whilst i give my pc some much-needed attention! they're so yummy!

i'm missing out on a lot in the real world. i'm not worried, though. just stating the facts. more concerned over what i should be doing whilst i hide away from the world.

photo blogs...

The Wish List (in no particular order)

Mum's the word? I'd agree to that for now.

As I went past the tree-lined path near where the bamboos are, I felt something heavy-ish land on my head.

I put my hand on top of my just-washed hair, praying it's not something a little bird might have dropped post birdy breakfast.

I breathed a sigh of relief realizing it must have been one of those red flowers that have been detaching itself from the trees.

Lovely flowers they are, scattered along the paths and making you feel like a princess walking on rose petals.


Sorting through all emotions. Glad mum's back. At least we got the cooking and the house stuff taken care of for the most part. And the brother-nagging's going to be significantly reduced.

Almost time for another year-end inventory of sorts. The stress will never go away. Yes, I'm acknowledging the fact that I am stressed. Not sure whether I've been for the last 5 years but right now, I definitely am.

Major cause of stress, still unknown but part and parcel of which might be the following: 'shrink'-less existence, unfulfillment in selected areas, frustration over lack of time for 'worthwhile' activities and some uncontrollable factors - the latter I deem not worth batting an eyelash for, and ignorance on extreme emotion management.

With business-lik demeanor, all of the above should be addressed within 2007.

Off for two days and maybe a bit more... sans the world wide web, sans the computer, sans make-up, avec much needed rest, submission and just some sort of chill out where hopefully I won't have to feel strongly about ANYTHING.

CHILL-OUT...

Woo do you think you are?

Supposedly cruisy but a tad emotional weekend. Skipped the Friday night haps, decided to come back home to catch up on a little bit of film fest work and some shut-eye, enough to sustain me for the following day.

French class was fun. Had a little party during the break where people really outdid themselves - drip coffee maker, french presses, croissants, brioches, baguettes, fruit platter and punnets of strawberries, jams, cheese platter with red wine (in the morning!).

Lunch was rather frustrating due to my diet. Plan A was fruit salad, which we can hardly find, believe it or not. So I went for an undressed garden salad, asked for honey and lemon and then towards the last bite, I noticed that they've put some shredded cheese in the salad, which I cannot really eat.

Hung out at Starbucks to get my buddy to teach me some francais which he's way better at than moi, then hurried home to get changed and went to Manly. Minie's Farewell. Hope it won't be the last we'll see of her!

Met up with the gang at the wharf, headed to the beach for some photos, had dinner in what seemed like broad daylight (it's summer, it's daylight saving time). I had the most expensive, plainest steak ever.

Off to Candy's Cafe afterwards and played Monopoly - The Las Vegas Edition over tea and cakes (which I cannot eat so I only had 2 pots of green tea). A weird after-dinner activity but hey, we're getting old and not running of creative ideas! I love the Las Vegas dice! If I can buy a dozen of those, I will! Very retro.

Here forth are les photos!



Slept at 12am, woke up 5-ish the next morning. I didn't really sleep from caffeine OD but managed to rock up at the airport 7-ish to see Minie head from her airline queue towards the food court queue.

Was silly (and jumpy) the whole morning from lack of sleep and with the caffeine still kicking in. The problem is, I cannot really tell when the caffeine will kick in in general so I cannot rely on such probability to say coffee keeps me awake and all that. I just love coffee so what the heck.

Expecting to see Minie in December for her graduation. Fingers-crossed. She was emotional and I was not perhaps due to my silly state of well-being.

Grabbed Starbucks at the airport. Had decaf. Went to Gloria Jeans in Town Hall to say hi to Rosie and kill time prior to church.

Home time after church. Went to the gym, walked a bit and got some DVDs and groceries.

Went to see Revolutions last night at the Opera House. The last bit was the best. Contemporary ballet. Really cool costumes and set.

Off to Excel training today. Little holiday from work! Yay! Then three work days left.

Watched a few of the DVDs I borrowed Sunday night. French ones. I love film. And oh, I wish I am related to John Woo.

Happy Friday, everyone!

I used to be the Powerpoint Queen. Back in the days when we thrived on those little floppy disks with the little data capacity to match, they were pretty useless as one can never contain an entire presentation. If only we had CDs or USB drives back then.

Another all-nighter last night. 1:00am is not too bad, especially when I started working on it at 9pm. Take note, my loyal companion (read: PC) is kinda old and sluggish.

Thank goodness Jono layed out the presentation and all, I just had to pick some music, lay-out the soundtrack and tweak the timings a bit to match the beat (or lack thereof).It was good fun. Ended up in a massive audio file of 6 something MB for a total duration of 50 seconds. Maybe even less.

clock out time: 7:00pm. seriously!

Joy called me this morning for a chat and she was asking if I am sick. Cos I sounded DRUNK. I was groggy and that was it.

I had to run off for a high-sugar cup of coffee. No milk or soy, just your three shots of espresso topped up with hot water. Err... let's not forget the Hazelnut syrup.

Lunch was a mere 'eat-while-you-work' affair. I managed to sneak out for 20 minutes for a bit of sunshine, which was great. It's one of those days when it's a bit chilly but then the sun is quite intense. It is as if you get a choice between hot and chilly. :)

Work was pretty hectic today. My plan to go to the gym is officially canned, muchless my plan to get more forty winks but still get to French class in time tomorrow morning. I've got some work to do and I have to eat dinner. Thank goodness I didn't have to cook!

I am seriously tired. Yesterday was horrible, but today's better. Much much better. 4 days of work next week, 1 day of training (Tuesday!), ballet at the Opera House (at 25-year old rate) Monday night.. ahhh it's gonna be a short week! :D

That Sunday, Mum comes and then I've got 2 days-off work. :D

dislike for dissonance

clock out time: 5:30pm

i was home 6-ish, had some lindt 85% chocolat noir and pondered whether i should go to the gym. maybe later, i thought, and proceeded to devour the saltless leftovers which consisted of the pasta from two nights ago and the minced beef with asparagus, which i cooked last night and which i had rice with for lunch.

washed down my dinner with some goji juice, washed up, and decided to 'relax' for whatever the word means. decided to ditch the gym. ok, postpone gym time to friday night. no night out for moi. besides, i need to learn a bit of french and 'relax' some more.

soaked my feet, downloaded the presentation Dan sent the team (volunteer work) and pushed away the thought of having done zilch for Friday's End of Year Party promo except download a retro tv graphic.

i cannot get myself to do any more work for the day. i am tired and drained as it is. inspired? not at all. i cannot even look forward to my upcoming days off as i might have to go on unpaid leave. not that i mind not being paid for going in but i feel slack. but then again, who cares. seriously. i have to convince myself that this is merely a way to get by. five years later, it's going to be a footnote to a footnote.

whether or not i will get to go on holidays come feb 07, may 07 and sept 07 is way out of the question for the time being. these are rather highlights to my year. and my bro came home today asking why i look sad. because i am, because i am. i cannot even hide it anymore.

priorities, priorities.maybe it's time for some shut-eye.

Swing,Mood,Swing

i should be sleeping.
i am tired.
my eyes are tired.

am i not almost blind?

blind from staring at computer screens.
blind from trying to reconcile all those numbers.
blind from the tubes of mascara that i try to consume.

i retire into the night to a more peaceful state.
post-whinging to friends from the old days.
post saltless but sugary dinner.
post six, no, seven bags of green tea.

thank goodness for expressive, encouraging producers.
thank goodness for empowering sermons.
thank goodness for true friends, true loves, dreams and blogs.

darned two weeks or so...

pardon me while i get ultra emotional, uber irrational and hot-tempered.

it's all bottled up. i'll vent out time and time again via different channels.

dang this diet. dang all the things i have to do.

i wish i can zone out until the whole darned thing's over. better yet, until 2006 is over.

weird-weathered town

I have finally finished drafting two appraisal forms for work. My supervisor goes on holiday next week. Fingers-crossed it won't be busy.

The big fan of days-off that I am, I've bailed out of two weekend activities and have decided to catch up on more forty winks. My head is heavy or light from sleeping a tad over the threshold. I cannot even decide.

I have just realised, from reading a Sophia Coppola article, that I have seen all of her movies (Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation). Looking forward to her version of Marie Antoinette, which has a contemporary take. Dang, it's not showing til 26 December. I'd go for a 9am movie if that should be the case!

* Still set on winning that Oscar*

wish me luck

At 9:15am, I was just walking into work. I should have been there at 8:30am. But today, I woke up at 8:00am due to having gone to bed at 3-ish. The previous night it was a 2am bedtime.

Been editing a video clip. Time of my life. Started playing around with After Effects and then Premiere.

Been thinking about 2006, pretty much racking my brain for those significant turn of events. Come to think of it, I've met so many new people, those types that tend to stick by. Little windows have opened into media, too and perhaps a more realistic look at 'travelling'.

01nov06 pig-out:

remerciez la qualité des langues

Beaucoup de choses peut être perdu dans la traduction. Est-ce que je donne un rien ? Je ne pense pas ainsi.

Actuellement dans un état de dépression, je commence à considérer sur ce qui a été, ce qui est maintenant et ce qui pourrait avoir été. Je suis tenté pour me laisser au travail ainsi détestez et admettez au monde entier que j'ai entrepris une démarche ennuyant fausse. Cependant, je ne pense pas il est sage comme je crois toujours que j'ai été apporté à ce travail pour un but qui est toujours complètement inconnu à moi.

Le travail est une raison et la santé, une autre. Je serai privé de beaucoup de variétés de nourriture pour les deux semaines suivantes. J'ai dû faire une promenade pour figurer hors de la façon dont je peux me mettre à ces deux semaines quand je serai dans un état d'hypothyroïdisme. Autant que je déteste pour l'admettre, j'ai jeté une larme ou deux.
Il y avait la réalisation que j'ai été frustré pendant tout à fait un moment. Quant à ce que la prochaine étape est censée pour être, démuni de I la plus légère idée. Aidez-ainsi moi Dieu.

Retour en arrière il y a cinq ans, j'étais dans un travail que je déteste vraiment. Mon ami utilisé pour me dire que les moments désespérés sont bons parce que quand l'inondation plus de, un arc-en-ciel apparaît. J'espère que 2007 apporteront cet arc-en-ciel à l'existence.

"Artist my A$$" and "Wish You Were Here"

Having a bit of a day-off from the whole wide world.

French class yesterday (got the audio cd that supposedly comes with the book), went French book hunting (to no avail that my friend decided to source it online, open to options from all over the world), off to Hillsong TV (insightful messages and a FULL SERVICE DVD to bring home!) and then to Nic's farewell (short but sweet as I was very late, and Nic's trip is postponed to 10 days after original date! Yay!).

Daylight Savings kicked-off today. And thus marked the end of the US/UK ones.Woke up lazily, had brekky (essential part of the day as of late), did 2 loads of laundry plus drying, catch-up with flatmate and have a million things left on my list.

Two work performance-related stacks of papers to fill-out by Tuesday, gym, grocery shopping, ironing, video editing and article editing (latter two needs major kick-starting). Great need of channeling out frustrations currently being addressed. I long for my shrink, who'd give me a spanking for not doing anything to channel out my creative frustrations.

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH.

It's almost year-end and I'd still say 2006 can just be written-off.

Personality Type

***You Are An INFP***


The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.


What's Your Personality Type?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpersonalitytypequiz/

the stress that comes with it all

Damned S-word.

Meant to be Sunday funday but it's more like Sunday stress-like-crazy day.

First of all, tomorrow is a Monday, the bitch of all days. And having the bulk of Monday through to Friday being about work does not make it even a tad better. There are chores to finish up and it also dawned on me that I have not done a single itty bitty thing done for the work that has been so carefully entrusted to my care. Do I abandon the work and break the trust or do I hang in there and diligently finish the work that has been entrusted to me? Ahhhh. New York, New York.

Then bang-in-my-face come two up-and-coming projects. One due this Friday. Yes, THIS FRIDAY! And we have done zilch! Errr, I'm waiting for someone to initiate because I was told to. Exhale. So why did I take on these things? Because I love them media things and all. Bow.

If only I do not have to work that 9 to 5, really 8:30 to 6:30, job.

In dire need of more gym time, and more time to learn francais.

In dire need of eye drops!

And perhaps some shut-eye!

It's been a long day. Jam-packed. And I tried to squeeze everything in. I'd rather get things done and over with.

Seriously, everytime I think about passionately hating this darned thing, random acts of kindness sprout from nowhere and pacifies my erruption. And the good thing about having ten million things to do would be each of the ten million things having peaks and valleys, the patterns of which would be beyond my comprehension, so I'd have at least one thing to rave about despite having 9,999,999 things to rant about.

I had my third monthly review (marking my third month in the firm) today. It was more of a get-to-know-the-boss type thang or maybe a get-to-know-your-employee session from their side. I've exposed a great deal about who I am, and embarrassingly, my journalism background came up. That's something that has stuck in my boss' head from reading my CV. Thing is, I can't even spell anymore. HA!

Currently too tired to do my research. I feel abandoned somehow. But right now I couldn't care less. I just want to sleep.

the trip down memory lane

That's what I call lunch breaks spent walking around The Rocks - one of the things I miss most about working at my previous office.

Managed to take a bus down the good ol' path, survey the Museum of Contemporary Art Shop and spend some time browsing through the uber coolness of the book selection at ariel.

The MCA Shop
- Funky cameras with an array of colour filters and multiple lenses. From 70 bucks.
- Arty 2007 diaries, mostly New York-inspired (read: MoMA, Andy Warhol [from the Andy Warhol Museum in NY, I suspect], New York Times). From 18 bucks for the pocket diary.
- Unique accesories including animal-hide round purses with key ring, 35 bucks, and beaded necklaces wrapped in antique silk kimono fabrics, 98 bucks.
- Funky greeting cards.

ariel booksellers
- moleskin notebooks, planners and diaries of various sizes and specs. From 25 bucks.
- Zadie Smith books, the new Nick Hornby bestseller, "My First Film" (Hollywood's famous directors talk about their first films), and an interesting one called "Notes from the Underground Teenagers"
- funky greeting cards.

The greeting cards inspired me to buy a printer. I still want a mac. Any sponsors?

Halfway through October. Can't wait for bludgy days with trainings and induction programs, my two days off (at least!) in November, Christmas with the family (again in Sydney) and 2007! YAY!

HIT by Madness

October is one of the best months to come to Sydney just because it is Good Food Month and if there is one thing I like best about Sydney, it's gotta be the food! Oh yeaaahhh!

Because most of my friends and I are poor... ok, on a budget, we've been skipping the 'hatted' (the excellent restaurants are rated via hats and there's only a handful of them!) restaurants' hundred-dollar over dinners and going for something dubbed "Sugar Hit", hosted by some of Sydney's best hotels, for 15 bucks a pop.

They are these oh-so-sweet treats that will practically abuse your tastebuds to numbness. They come with either dessert wine (orange muscat is syrupy sweet, the sweet sparking red wine is pretty cool) or scotch. Twist your waiter's arm for coffee, tea or juice. Tap water in Sydney is totally potable (unlike in some exotic places where you gotta use bottled water just to brush your teeth) and they come free with every meal. You just gotta ask your server.

I am glad it's Friday - the week is over and it is time for that breather. I turned down a day-out. Should I kick myself? It's so unlike me but I figure I need that time for myself. I'm not sure what for.

Selfish me. Who isn't, anyway?

adolescent angst and more...

I need some good ol' spankin'.

Because I feel like going on to the footbridge and screaming at the top of my lungs.

I want to bang my head hard against the brick wall, too. Errr... maybe not...

And perhaps go out the backyard and upset the possums some more so they'd scream or make whatever sound they make that would piss me off big time and I'd attempt to grab their tails and fling them to the neighbor's backyards.
Or wherever they land.

Agh. Such is life.

www.bobdob.com

burning the midnight oil and such

ariel is indeed my fave bookshop. i slipped away from my work dinner at Lowenbrau down at The Rocks to head home (and get cracking on some film fest work reseach, mind you!), walked past ariel's open doors and was enticed to walk in. I pulled back thinking of the odds I wouldn't make a purchase. The buyer in that darn cool place deserves some recognition.

Friday is burn-the-midnight-oil night. I get to that point where I cannot even decide whether it was still a Friday or new day Saturday. ACK. Guess it's some kind of 'put-things-in-perspective' time, apart from just beating a Friday deadline for my so-called work. Ok, it's a volunteer work that I've often caught myself taking way too seriously.

Whether I'm investing in something worthwhile is beyond me. But I do have my hopes up for this project. More details when we get closer to the so-called 'release date'.

And so I kept my inbox open until 1-ish and now I've got a bunch of new mail, mostly junk from auto-generated sites presumably based in the US. Not to mention a bunch of emails from people I personally know also based in the US. Not forgetting the fact that I did get another Job Site email with about 50 jobs, when last night I just went through a list of 60-70 odd jobs. Ok, more like media-related or "media-related" jobs.

So tell me, what's up with the millions of jobs that suddenly flood my inbox? Not that much of those tickle my fancy. It's just so... sudden. And it makes me wonder where the jobs I want are hiding.

It's all about timing, alright. It's all about timing.

That final hour.

Longest hour imaginable. Except of course when you're having a good old time (e.g. that lunch break in between a busy morning and a crazy-busy afternoon).

Dang. I keep hitting the 'Check Mail' button again! All the freaking time!

Been a busy week alright. Stressful. I'm tired. Way tired. In agony over something beyond the tip of the iceberg.

I love the weekends. I wish I can look forward to weekdays, too.

The eight-hour stretch.

I hate doing my tax return. I'm getting peanuts back this year. I guess that's better than having to pay the government back some moolah. As if I have a lot to begin with. Give it a week to settle. My accountants are trying to do their work.

Have an arvo 'tea' partee to go to. In half an hour. I haven't showered, had lunch and all.

Labour Day Public Holiday. It does feel like a second Saturday in a weekend. I'd rather get lost roaming the streets than anything.

Glad I'm having a break off work. Busy week ahead, though.

The place I call home.

Reminds me of that Peter Allen song used by Qantas - 'I Call Australia Home.' Kick-ass song that never failed to give me goosebumps. Think it's the essence of it all backed by the kid's choir plus the scenery (in the Qantas TV ad).

I have to admit I do miss home. Guess it sinks in after almost five years of being based 'elsewhere.' But then maybe sometimes 'home' becomes a characteristic that can be found in more places than one.

Yahoo! Mail has a beta that copies a lot of Outlook/Lotus Notes functions and all. It's excellent. Now I'm in business!

Still trying to juggle things around. Glad I managed to put in 8 plus hours towards the volunteer work. Sweet. Hope it goes on smoothly. A nervous breakdown is certainly unacceptable at this stage.

A couple of girls' last day at work today. Such is life. I'm getting the hang of things as it was. Can't believe I dreamt of my old workplace. I had to keep reminding myself en route to work this morning that change is good. It is. The difficult part (at least for yours truly) is settling in. And not looking back. Me thinks I take longer than the average joe to declare one place a comfort zone.

Had dinner at good ol' Newtown with some friends. Viet dinner followed by coffee and cake. Good dose of catching up and all in between and all around. I love Newtown.

Long weekend kicks off. I wish I booked a holiday. But then gotta allocate the resources for the big one in a few months' time. Should lock in the annual leave next week.

McCann, let me know what's happening, will ya!?!

I'm bracing myself for what the future holds. Can't wait for the rest of the story to unfold.

after all's been said and done...

so what's next? that's my ultimate question.

been a crazy week. it's time to rest NOW. i am trying to make up my mind as to whether i should go to the gym or not. there's a long weekend coming up. not that i couldn't care less but i just don't feel it's coming up in two days.

i've hardly spoken to the brother i share a room with.

i'm tired. i need new flat shoes, new stuff... i swear they're stuff that i need to replace my current ones that are dying.

went to watch Friends wiht Money last night with Annfen. i was telling her how indie films tend to show real people and real lives. i love 'em. :)

ok, i'm going to the gym.

Tough Times

The situations that have toughened me up big time have included those where I cringe the whole way through, perhaps taking a break from the 'cringe face' when in my silent chamber (The Loo) where I imagine all of life's rosyness.

Whether I am once again in such a situation, I cannot 100% tell. However, life has, by far, provided little pockets of comfort here and there.

It is amazing how despite the fact that people in Sydney do come and go, there has always been a support group around to comprise my A-list.

Saw The Devil Wears Prada yesterday in the exquisite Cremorne Cinemas. Quite grand, attracts a good handful of middle-aged people and beyond.

The movie itself was entertaining, at least for me who adores magazines, fashion (sans attutude) and Manhattan.

Headed off to a friend's house for a dinner/birthday celebration/get-together thang. Really yummy home-made cooked with the sort of standard you'd pay 20, even 30 bucks for.

I'd say the company was tops, too, which made it all the more worth the evening.

so much for dreaming, so much for living (but hey, such is life).

Took half a day off work. For valid reasons, of course.

I was due for that annual body scan in two months. I just can't believe it's been almost a year since I had the surgery. My scar still looks fresh and I still get a tingling sensation every now and then. I wouldn't say it's a horrible feeling. It reminds me more of everything that took place around that time.

Fingers crossed I won't have to go through another radioactive iodine session. I just don't like the hassle. But perhaps some days off would be good. Pros and cons, you see. My life will have to take another pause just in case.

Just in case.

scratch where there's an itch.

another crossroad. really, it is a bit vague but after some cranal work-out, i've just come to that conclusion, which is to be followed by other conclusions, all of which will be subject to an overall conclusion.

i failed to comment on what went on at the beginning of the month. the dreaded birthday went by with not much dread, but with annoyance over the fact that for the second time in the season and for the second month in a row, i was down with the flu - and i was down for a few days complete with pale everything and a 2-day sickie.

mind you, i just started my job a month ago and i've already clocked in two sickies. good-o!

speaking of the job, i daresay i did not make a mistake making the transition as it proved to me several things including but not limited to the following:
a. i am not a finance person
b. i do not like monotonous tasks comprising my jobs, which i have to do every single day. i do not like monotonous tasks. period.
c. i am not much of a 9 to 5, all day in the office person.
d. i am not scared of losing my job. my job is not everything to me. it does not define me.

those things being said, i still do my best. one day, though, i'd like to be putting a bit of heart into what i will be doing, for obvious reasons.

the good thing is, i've got more motivation to save now and perhaps i have grown tired of shopping for nice things and all the cool stuff, more because i do not see the point anymore...err... or for the time being.

if only volunteer works come with more perks than a bunch of intangibles.

... or if only those intangibles can make the world go round, round and round. come to think of it, maybe they do.

The Day I Parted With My Kick-Ass 200-dollar Black Boots

Nine West, I hate you. Why make ever-so-fragile high heeled black boots that cost a bomb and fool suckers like yours truly into investing in such crap?

It took two winters, a hundred plus dollars per winter, not to mention the aching feet and the callouses. Was it all worth it? I don't think so.

I loved you, my Nine West Black Boots, and parting was indeed sorrowful, sans sweetness. I could have kept you until the end of spring but I couldn't take your squeaking anymore. Next up, I think you will be causing me a fatal fall.

I hope you enjoy living in the bin until Tuesday night. Come Wednesday, you'll have a new home in the dumps.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've got the fever! I did last night. Had to chuck a sickie two weeks into my new job. Classic.

The weakling that I am. I do not think I am made for such full-time jobs. A test of patience for the time being, perhaps? Here forth is a life lesson I keep failing to learn.

Deep breath. February, can't you come any sooner?

I love you, Adobe Premiere 7.0. Fujitsu, please hang in there. I cannot yet afford an iMac so you can't retire just yet.

on bombing another comfort zone

I like change. At least I tend to look forward to change. With anxiety, of course, which I get some kind of thrill out of. Call me insane. A lot of people already have.

Closing yet another chapter to one's life was unexpectedly filled with such sorrow one cannot even begin to describe. There was the hope for a better chapter, at the same time the longing for the familiar.

People are reshuffling. It was just high time I make a move myself. I left with good memories of ye olde workplace. I miss them a lot.

I never thought I would but I sincerely do.

Who is Sue Ling?

One of the Sunday arvos I went to church, there was a bent old Asian guy who approached me as I stood behind one of the pews, grabbed my arm and went "Are you Sue Ling?"

"No," I gently replied in between songs.

After my turn at the communion table, I walked past the line of church-goers waiting for their turn. Same old man grabbed my hand and went "Are you Sue Ling?"

Not quite deja vu. More like he was probably really old to have remembered that he asked the same person the same question twice. There was probably a good one hour gap between the scenarios.

He was a quaint tiny old man, with a seemingly permanent smile plastered on his face. I saw a bit of gold glistening as he spoke and paused with a grin.

counting down to SPRING!!!

flowers are blooming... purple, fuschia and pink.

I remember an ex-President of the nation joke whereby Mr. Then-Action-Star-Now-Prez was asked what his fave colour is.
"Fuschia," he said.
"Can you spell it?"
"I changed my mind," decided the Prez, "it's red!"

I've got a few countdowns in my head. I wonder whether the knowledge that my JPM days are numbered (8 working days as of press time) make me view the JPM world in rose-coloured glasses. Maybe part of the reasoning behind would include wanting to depart only with good memories. Thus the adage "the good old days."

Saw this kewl simple-o black shirt from Beach Culture while I sneaked out from work.. It's got funky NYC lights on it (nothing overly flash to remind u of Las Vegas). The label? Zoo York!

Ack! Less than a month before I turn 1-year + a-quarter-of-a-century old! Planning smomething small. About 12 pax. Think..think..think.

Quick run-down of my fun (despite being sick!) week nights...

Tue - My Super Ex-Girlfriend [movie!] with Amy
silly funny movie. good one for unwinding after a hard day's work (yeah, right!)

Wed- dinner @ Zia Pina [italian nosh down The Rocks]
Origami [contempo ballet] @ The Sydney Opera House
(I can just hear the orchestra play!) with Leanne
interesting mix of body movements, sound + silence, animation and lights. disliked the paper-folding bits but absolutely loved the ballet! contemporary (includes traditional sounds with a twist!) and classic tunes made danceable. animated mt. fuji erruption, godzilla munching on melbourne and the sydney harbour bridge!

Thu - dinner - Pancakes @ The Rocks with Joy + Amy
The Umbilical Bros [comedy show!] @ The Sydney Theatre Co
with Joy, Amy + Casey
now this IS laugh-out-loud funny! love the video camera + projector bits! creativity to the max!

Fun! Fun! Fun!

A blog from a different blog... (definitely not plagiarised!)

"Me and My New Yorker"
I am so sick. Can't believe it. It's been a week. No defenses. I've been a fragile little life form roaming around the flu-infested, not to mention soon-to-be-hayfever-infested, world.Dang.Searched the world for a copy of The New Yorker! And for a while I've been thinking that perhaps I was lucky that one instant and the newsagent at Wynyard just happened to stock that particular issue.Went by my friendly neighborhood newsagent and decided to ask if they have it and they do! It's just been hiding among the Time, Fortune, Forbes , BRW magazines all this time!!!The mag is too smart for me. Oh I bought Marie Claire Aussie and Vogue UK, too. Bliss...Nuts....

~ vintage green tea ~

whether there is such a thing or not, i shouldn't care. i'm having some of those roasted ones passed on to me by a good korean friend more than a year ago. tea leaves shouldn't have an expiry, right? the fact that i've been keeping the jar in my office should be a good sign as the place is better ventilated than here. mold is the enemy in this house. until summertime, perhaps.

still recovering from the attacks of the current flu-infested ambience in Sydney. need to be on-guard a hayfever's gonna be taking the spotlight in no time.

managed to grab meself a copy of the week's New Yorker. Thought they come by once in a blue moon but I'm glad my assumptions are wrong. My local newsagent even stocks them. Hooray! Threw in Marie Claire Aussie and Vogue UK in my purchase pile, too. Hoarding magazines again.

Moved offices yday. Cna't believe I'm moving offices again in approximately 18 days. Bigger move then. But at least I won't have to pack. We'll be on the 26th floor come monday, with the usual harbour view replaced by the mid-section of the old KPMG building, among others.

As I always say, change is good.

Looking forward to visits from friends based overseas, the circus, dances and plays.

eye spyin', i spyin'

the FENDI spy bag/
went by the Fendi corner at DJs today to check out the goodies. nah, I don't like 'em anymore.

Angus&Robertson/
bought my english book plus a watercolour one. getting a palette later on. my paints are almost 5 years old and i haven't even opened a tube!

vego lunch/
green gourmet ain't so bad. i still can't be vegetarian, though. meat's just too yummy to give up on and i need all that variety.

chatty/
bought a belt due to my work one being MIA for a while. thought it ended up in mom's suitcase but doesn't look like it. oh well.

saw superman returns, mainly nice due to the sydney scenes. how biased!

met up with Joy and Andrew for dinner at chatswood bbq king, one of Rosie's faves.


argh. i wish it's only Friday today!

surge of emotions

finally dropped the bomb at work.
can't help feeling emotional.
somehow i'm fond of short chapters.

glad casey got a new job, too. i'm as happy for him as i am for meself.

one last assignment for the journ class. it's more a revision than an actual write-from-scratch piece. relatively positive feedback for my kinda crappy cupcake draft. i hope it ain't just about being encouraging.

plan of action should be put in place.

i'm tired.

Another one of those turning points

I have constantly stuffed things up for myself. This is something I will only allow myself to say of me. Should someone else utter those words...

I tripped going down the stairs yesterday and ended up with a really sore littlest toe. As to whatever is it's current fate, I do not have the slightest idea. Fingers (and toes) crossed, the pain will go away pronto. *ouch*

Had Joy's bday bash at a restaurant called Fu Manchu in Darlinghurst. I 'decided' to take the Kings Cross bus and again was faced with the confusing instersection with about 6-10 streets to pick from around where the big Coke sign is.

The restaurant was pretty cool. Funky chinese with communal dining tables. Food was good, the servings just right (in a sense that you don't get so sick of anything so you kinda want more.. but for next time).

Headed to Passion Flower for dessert (whatever that means).

Might be starting a new chapter in about a month. Will blog (or blab) about it more when details are confirmed. Wesley Mission's International Congregation decided to film the Sunday services and I'm in! Woohoo! Exciting, exciting!

What's next?

His Master's Voice

after two years of waiting, i FINALLY got to be a part of the Hillsong conference tv crew. my initial attempt seemed successful until the rosters came out. i did get some sorta thank you certificate afterwards, though.

did a lot of kidsongs, which was fun and interesting. and really, more often than not, there are pearls of wisdom hidden within such simple words and messages.

i'm glad i volunteered. i almost did not volunteer. the atmosphere's incredible.

i made a couple of boo boos at work that exploded last week, while i was away. thank goodness for the timing. it's all good now. i was a wreck on monday but everything's been restored.

blessings in disguise still came my way via priceless life lessons.

Merriam-Webster: my new best friend

one last assignment to go! i don't have a particularly good feeling going with this one as it requires some sort of an interview. i've got prospects, heaps of ideas but darn... not enough time.

my prospect of being a contributor for a broadsheet fell through the crack. lucky my course lecturer's being ultra encouraging just when i started wondering whether i have what it takes to be a writer.

long way to go but it does look promising. maybe i am cut out to be one of those 'writers-on-the-side' after all.

the job that puts food on the table gets more and more 'ugh' each day. i admit it's a psychological factor more than just the job itself. i interpret things a different way from how my peers would. that's me, alright. mum would know.

4 days off next week! yaay! i can pretend to be carefree and just immerse myself in the conference.

On Dusenberry and life

Phil Dusenberry, former Chairman of BBDO (that's the ad agency, silly)

been reading his book and found it somewhat motivating in the sense that ther seemed to be little hammers embedded within the paragraphs. these little hammers seem to pop out every once in a while to give me a good whack on the head. much needed.

whenever i put on that thinking cap...

funny how my uncle on the other side of the globe thinks i'm up to 'something' cos he always sees me online after midnight. whoever comes up with these theories must be up to something themselves...

but hey, fyi, i've been up to something which is no secret. everyone knows i'm doing that journalism course based in NY, thus the weird hours.

'if i die tonight, *hugs* till we meet again.'

i am deafer than deaf

half of the world seem to be pushing me to move, the other half decided i am better off sticking around. i assume until about november.

knowing myself, i will not be able to wait that long.

might have a stab at being a [regular?] contributor at a less known broadsheet in filo land. however, a lot of things depend on solemn time at hand.

with three people living in this room, i'm not quite sure about the odds of that happening. time to come up with a new schedule.

perhaps writing at work aint so bad.

the missing mantra

tough life.
it's never easy to get where you want to go. at least i know that goes for most of you, normal folks out there.

today's one of those days when i was faced with such reality that questioned my purpose, among other things. the ultimate question now has become 'how do i get to where i want to go?' as opposed to the previous 'where am i headed?'

my past haunts me. everyone around me and who knows me will be able to tell that i love being where i am (geographically but to a certain extent) and if i do turn back, it will not be a 'final decision.'

i scorn the culture that nurtured me. i am trying to break through and even people from my mother land won't give me a chance, muchless some due respect. perhaps for the time being i should be taking my goods elsewhere.

one hundred and ninetieth blog

post talk of the town piece draft//
me thinks my brain need some spanking. or maybe just a hell of an exercise!
i just gotta edit and make this piece work!
dang!

*** edit ***

think i'm losing touch with the arts and media.
i'm on a wave of euphoria. i got better comments for my third assignment.
more pressure on the 4th one. sigh. where's my angle!!!!! waaaah! come back to me!

Queen's Bday long weekend

Happy Birthday, Queen!

it's not really her bday. last week, western australia had queen's bday public holiday. our turn now. coinciding with filo independence day this time.

YAAAWWWWNNN!!!

i feel like a cat. i'm so so tired, probably the crap weather.

i have to sit and do my article. i just lost it. i had everything drafted in my head during that newtown to city bus ride. i went to newtown to be enlightened. it wasn't too bad.

sydney film festival// hong kong express// the myth
that movie's nuts. gotta watch another one so as to have that good SFF 06 impression.

can't get US out of my head. can't get NYC out of my head. i'm getting more and more people to join my bandwagon. i'm not even campaigning. sigh! i feel like going already!

Gone Bananas.

Third blog for the day. I need to sort my thoughts out, cure myself of my scatter-brainedness. Did I just make up a word there?

I need to go back to structure, to methodical thinking. Where did they all go?

Painstalkingly, I need to work my ass off. I feel confused, I feel slightly frustrated. I feel like jumping around, screaming and throwing things around.

When I was in school I feared failing my subjects more because it is a big disappointment within myself and also because I could never imagine what my parents would do. I haven't had that fear for a while. But I think somehow it's back and it's bigger than ever.

If I fail, I am doomed.

I'm sure everyone passes in this course. The failure comes where I fail to deliver my goods. That being said, I just have to say I'm stressed beyond words but rather optimistic because I will be a journalistic geek from now on.

And everything does revolve around New York nowadays. I just have to add that.

FREAKout.

my assignment is just baaad. the one i just submitted today. sigh. i better get ready for some grilling and killing next week. this is what i get for not working on my assignment early enough.

cuz in texas getting married 3 march! yay! hello US of A!

i'm trying to kick start my freelancing career... to no avail.

on a journalistic trek

Kat used to say girls ought to have 12 days sickie in a year. Think all the girls will agree. I needed to take one of those today. I'm dying in anguishing pain. I refuse to take the pill.

Crammed for Assignment Numero Tres last night... err... this morning. Think it's absolutely crap. If I had 3 more pages to fill I would have made my own Lonely Planet "The Rocks". It was a travel story.

Currently revising my exhibition review. The only thing is. I needed to go beyond the surface. Literary skills came handy for this one. I have to admit that for the most part, this is a bit of an ego-crushing course. I daresay it's healthy.

Eyes A-bLiNkIn'

after showering at half past midnight, my eyelids still feel heavy.
i need to study. i mix up my passwords for my blog and my online classroom.
glad i don't have that many passwords to mix around.

blah! where's brian? i call my brain brian for rather obvious reasons. ;)
i forgot why i decided to blog.

went to see graeme murphy's director's cut (contempo dance).
coolness.

chopsuey!

//noun// a dish originating from the Chinese migrants, made up of mixed vegetables and pork bits cooked in thick sauce.

--- HEAR ME OUT!

let me say what i've been wanting to say
let me hear what i've been dying to hear

--- The End.

Mr. B comes back on monday! yay! the end of my long hours. hopefully.

--- Days Off in July!

Hi Ivannah,

Thank you so much for volunteering for Hillsong Conference 2006. Your application has now been processed and you have been allocated to:

TV - TV Crew (Camera, CCU, Assist)

Someone from that department will be in touch with you shortly to inform you of your roster for conference and any training dates that you might need to know.

--- Insights from Above

God does put in your heart what He wants you to be doing
What is meant for you will be kept, set aside for you
Go back to Asia! (Go back to Asia? Hmmm... Could that be for me?)

addicted to BLOG!

dang.

i finally got the nerve to check out people's comments on my first assignment for that journalism course i'm taking. so far so good, considering i totally took a dive into rushing through that assignment, i didn't even think.

the lecturer said it reads like a blog entry. dang.

i submitted my second assignment today. only half the class did so. i think it reads like a blog entry, too. very free form. dang. why do i dislike structure? perhaps i feel like i've mastered the rules long enough to break them.

there's always room for improvement.

Tell me, what are you in the mood for?

"gimme some sticky rice!"

kat came in this morning with a 'thing' of sticky rice wrapped in something that looked like banana leaf to me. i remember my dad telling me it's some sorta tea leaf they'd use. i miss sticky rice. used to eat it a fair bit. costs about 10 pesos for the small ones with only beans. yum yum with ketchup (a.k.a. tomato sauce in aussie terms). kat had it with sugar. i miss my sticky rice with ketchup.


"i just worked my ass off!"

8am to 7pm. nuff said. as if i can so call it a day now. wrong.

assignment due 30 May 2006, 9:00pm American EST. got lots of work left undone. i have 14 hours and i need my zzzzz's plus my meals. bro is on cooking duty, at least.


"tv time!"

taking 4 july through to 7 july off. not for american independence day. decided to volunteer for the hillsong conference. fingers crossed i'll be on cameras. fingers crossed, eyes closed...


"so what do i do now?"

i didn't get the copywriter job. *scratch head*

raging nincompoop!

what the bleep do we know?
i love that title. i still wonder what that movie is about. i don't really have time, though.

the pitch letter.
oh ever so scorned, how do i write thee? how do i begin to draft thee?

the whole assignment.
perfect timing. i'm meant to be reviewing an axhibition and it's just that season when exhibitions finish and new ones are JUST about to start. except for over-reviewed Sam Taylor-Wood. I think I'm pretty much on the right track with a world-touring exhibition that has a website featuring more than what is actually on exhibit. This one's just perfect. I just have to think of a kick-ass angle and something to make it sound assignment-worthy. this, afterall, encompasses many seasons.

the mind.
focus! concentrate! i am doing my laundry, sorting my thoughts, calming my senses and prepping myself to do tv tonight. sigh. i still gotta iron work clothes. what's for lunch? sigh. i don't feel like cooking. i want to just crawl to bed and do nothing. i feel like bailing out of tv. as to why i am not quite sure. perhaps it's the chicken in me taking over. perhaps. ok, let's just blame the chicken.

crank me up, scotty!

busy busy.

i still want to scream off the peak of a mountain. til my lungs explode.

i have to admit i'm stressing.

why does everything have to push me to the edge all at the same time?

i gotta call mom come monday.

kick-ass.

waaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!
groan! groan! groan!

dang! the journalism course is one bootcamp indeed! currently lunching on my desk. on a saturday! and reading through my course notes, the most essential of which i can't even access. there are like 53 messages i have to read. blech.

that plus my suffering gym time and the strain of the demands of a social life.

alrighty. back to work. sigh.

an interesting glimpse

Dear Journalist/Dear Editor

with some kapow involved, i've got assignment one due in the morning.

lucky i got permission to rock up at 9:45 or so at work.

sometime before 10am, i was told. cool as.

resorted to interviewing my twin.

my first two choices kinda bailed out on me.

i don't blame them.

everything's just so last minute.

seriously.

Work me like a dog

crazy busy without B.

never thought i'd miss him!

oh well, i'm managing

and proving my worth at the same time.

i do think about other prospects.

that prospect.

but maybe this is best for me for the time being.

afterall, there's NYC and all.

Filo Fest

had filo nosh sat dinner

and then again sunday lunch.

argh.

i so miss filo food.

we looked at the menu and wanted to order EVERYTHING.

ate too much sat dinner but was good nonetheless

sinigang na baboy (pork in tamarind soup)

chicken adobo (soy, vinegar and pepper sauce)

sisig (pork whatevers on a sizzling plate)

leche flan (milk flan)

still ate a lot sun lunch

lechon kawali (fried/roasted pork)

kare kare (beef and veges in peanut sauce and shrimp paste on the side)

The Filo Lunch Incident

over excited and hungry

ate the kare kare too fast

was so so full.

i felt my tummy react but did not quite get the signal.

almost doubled over.

was so painful i wanted to say goodbye to everyone...

decided to take a trip to the loo for relief.

was such a far walk from the back of the kitchen.

i felt dizzier by the second,

ran over two milk crates, hit my shin like aowwww....

caught a glimpse of meself on the loo mirror.

pale as.

black out.

-splitsecond-

lights on.

my shin hurts so bad.

what's wrong with me?

Shopping Trip

always thought shopping in the suburbs is better.

cos the city's almost always out of everything.

everything i want, that is.

i just had to shop cos my work clothes felt big.

spent a bomb on 4 tops.

yay.

i thought of buying a sony mp3 player.

looks really cool.

i would have bought it if they also double as a hard drive.

i wish.

Esther's Farewell

Amy's friend.

someone from cell group.

my friend, too.

she's off to travel around asia for a month

and then europe (mainly london)

for about 10 months.

bye bye Esther.

will miss ya heapz...

meanwhile, i gotta get rid of my eye make-up

before i turn into a racoon again.

long day, longer night

i don't think i'll be sleeping tonight.
trust me, that aint as bad as what i thought would be my fate.
i thought i'd never leave work.

a colleague's gone on a 2-week hiatus.
i have to take over his stuff and i'm a bit rusty.
worked from 9 am to 8pm.
ain't so bad if you're in asia.
but hello this is australia.
where everything and practically everyone's laid back.

i haven't really finished work but i left everything there.
they can wait til tomorrow.

i'm home working on my writing assignment.
checked my emails.
got one from a recruitment agency.
they gave me a gentle snub.
'we do not handle entry-level positions.
but if you want to be in an ad agency,
you gotta go to AWARD school, blah blah..'

i found that email in my bulk mail.
he was kind enough to offer some kind advice.
sigh.

i mailed my thank you letters.
if i failed to mention it here,
you'd know that i went to an interview,
if you were my friend and i managed to update you.

that letter was to exercise good manners
and also to redeem my poor interview performance.

i really want to be elsewhere.

i really should get this article out of the way.

p.s.

mom told me the other day that there's gonna be another piece of platinum plastic coming my way.

it's gonna be an AmEx. BTW, I got my 10-year US Visa this week. yay!

i just need the ticket to fly.

the so-called calm after the !$%@!& storm.

clock's about to strike 2.
i should be catching my z's
and letting the french man go into deep slumber
without flashes of light trying to squeeze into his eyes

***

had a rollercoaster of a day
couldn't sleep last nite
due to interview slated midday today
i had to prep my portfoli
it's for that much coveted ad agency post

***

interview went okay
but they are screening a few other people
i want to get short listed

i had to ask everyone to pray for me
perhaps pray i'll get what is best

i got emotional
realizing i want the post so bad

just have to wait and see
and pray.

***

dying to do something creative

perhaps build an online portfolio
and learn all those adobe stuff

***

got overly tired at the end of the night

skipped life group

haven't started on my assignment

back to yoga tomorrow

at least i feel better now

after having shared half my angst with frenchie.

uberANNOYING!!!

ikea

the wretched furniture shop!

1. mom bought a chest drawer

which an ikea staff assisted her with

gave her 2 box twos and no box 1

2. we have not opened the boxes.

next time i went to ikea

i realized the mistake so i rang them

3. they asked me to pay $75 for delivery

if i want them to exchange it

bloody expensive and unfair

4. went there with flatmate

as she decided to buy a furniture

and have the items delivered together

5. ikea staff arranged my box one

sent them off tue

and meant to pick up box two

6. delivery day tuesday

delivery peeps refused to pick up box two

sans instructions from warehouse

7. i have 3 boxes in my living room

decided to build the drawer

realized it is of a different breed

8. rang up ikea asked

how many 6-drawer MALMs they have

the answer: three!

9. after much chasing around, wretched manager

who sent off erroneous box one

says she sent off the correct box

10. i hit the roof.

please tell me how i would be

getting the boo boo box?

Add means that we have to do something. We are in danger of forgetting that we cannot do what God does, and that God will not do what we can do. We cannot save nor sanctify ourselves— God does that. But God will not give us good habits or character, and He will not force us to walk correctly before Him. We have to do all that ourselves. We must "work out" our "own salvation" which God has worked in us ( Philippians 2:12 ). Add means that we must get into the habit of doing things, and in the initial stages that is difficult. To take the initiative is to make a beginning— to instruct yourself in the way you must go.
Beware of the tendency to ask the way when you know it perfectly well. Take the initiative— stop hesitating— take the first step. Be determined to act immediately in faith on what God says to you when He speaks, and never reconsider or change your initial decisions. If you hesitate when God tells you to do something, you are being careless, spurning the grace in which you stand. Take the initiative yourself, make a decision of your will right now, and make it impossible to go back. Burn your bridges behind you, saying, "I will write that letter," or "I will pay that debt"; and then do it! Make it irrevocable.
We have to get into the habit of carefully listening to God about everything, forming the habit of finding out what He says and heeding it. If, when a crisis comes, we instinctively turn to God, we will know that the habit has been formed in us. We have to take the initiative where we are, not where we have not yet been.-- No author assigned in CUT

For the ignorant, old age is as winter; for the learned, it is a harvest. —Jewish proverb

BootCamp it is!

I'm in the course.
Apparently my non-fiction piece was powerful.
Thought it was some kind of a joke. ;)

Gotta work hard now.
And deal with the 'rents come sunrise.

On a mission to France.

"She's got a platinum credit card because where she's from, they do not require anything for Platinums. It's just so easy." (overheard from the street)

What kind of a dum dum bank would let this happen? Que imposible!

I cooked dinner - steak with onions, stir-fried brocolli and carrots + spinach and ricotta ravioli on the side.

Ate too much and the [fake] french man talked almost non-stop. I told him some of my woes [for this season] but not all. He asked if I tell my friends everything. I said I tell them bits and pieces cos you just cannot tell one person absolutely everything.

Most often than not, there's not that one person who would fittingly want / care to know every single detail. That taken into consideration and so much more.

He chuckled for he knew what I meant.

So how are things in the life of me? The two things of main concern are the two main dilemmas of most people I know.

One thing I can partly control, the other, I believe someone else is taking charge for me.

I've applied for an online course. Fingers crossed. I have not told the 'rents about it though I would be charging it up to the plastic thang.

If I don't get to go, there's France I can go for. Perhaps I might need a recharge in Paris - go to museums and wander around. Beware of pick pocketers.

Either or. Both is good for moi.

*stark* CONFUSION

ideas dancing around my head

as always.

i'm back to square one.

what do i do now?

scrapped new york.

i should really focus

on my so-called (what?!?) career.

*somehow i cannot cancel my US visa interview appointment!*

the courses.

need to further equip meself.

where will the moolah come from?

heaven.

the agressive take.

sigh.

i'll try... but sourcing the contacts...

harder than i thought!

paris end of june.

tempting.

need to check the bank account!

that one big task of thinking...

nuts...

i'm sick today.
sick in my book, at least.
ditched my friday night thang.
to wallow in lonesomeness for a tad.

i love friday nights.
bright new beginnings.
of rather short lived "happy days".
but we will keep having friday nights.

my mind wanders off.
thnks of 'old fart-ness'.
four and a bit years left.
where will i be and what will be of me?

consequences.
of decisions made.
right at this very instant.
maybe in the next few days to come.

there's the career.
the travel, the next destination.
the other half of my existence.
passions in life, dreams to be fulfilled.

flashbacks, flashforwards.
maybe or only if i put pen to paper.
i would have something to start off with.
there would be a film festival entry, a ticket to places.

maybe. or maybe not.

The *crap* that I had today...

Being a girl, I can juggle multiple tasks, have at least two streams of thought flowing and pretend to be sober...

12:15pm
off to cockle bay wharf to meet irei in front of the aquarium
returned joy's call from 10 minutes ago and was walking the talk...

12:30pm
had to sms irei that i am running a tad late
she replies that she is on her way
i assume she just left the office
walked around the 'under renovation' aquarium site
sat on the bench for a good few minutes
decided to ring irei
i was in the wrong spot and had made the wrong assumption

we headed to Meat & Wine Co (meet & whine) for lunch
got lost into time
had a fair bit of catching up done
matchbox size steak, a bed of salad + glass of red
consumed half the red

2:30pm
got back at the office
worked speedily with a pout on my face
neglected a whole heap of work emails
(making sure i respond to the personal ones!)

4:30pm
tummy growling
headed to the kitchen for some cookies
paid $1 for the normal $1.20 can of coke zero from the vending machine
my favorite vending machine :)

5:00pm
left work with 3 other colleagues
into one colleague's car
off to Fox Studios where the preview of MI:III is
corporate function, we call it

5:45pm
parked the car, walked around, grabbed a drink

6:55pm
headed to the cinemas
grabbed the freebies - popcorn, ice cream + coke

7:00pm
movie kicks off...
some laughs, some thrills...

9:00pm
movie ends
entertaining but not fab
just glad it's free and came with all other perks!

9:10pm
headed to the after party!
stood strategically posed just off the kitchen exit
taste tested a whole heap of canapes
yummo...
lotsa talk, some drinks
great atmosphere, great bonding

10:00 ish pm
headed home...
good night out
let's do it again!

When "Adelaide" screams at you (me)...

So what do you do when choice words seem to jump out of a page? Do you nonchalantly ignore the idea or do you dwell on what could have brought about the seemingly biased perception?

The other night, I dreamt mom drove me to Glenelg, South Australia. I went there (for real) in February 2005 with her and we loved Glenelg. My friends and I have recently been planning on going to Adelaide in July. As to why is because they haven't been to Adelaide and I missed out on Kangaroo Island so I do have a reason to go back. When you've exhausted ideas of going to Brissie and Melbourne, you set your mind on the next closest destination, which in this case is Adelaide.

Funny though as in my dream, it took us less than an hour to drive to Glenelg. That may be true if you're coming from Adelaide. But the home base was neither Adelaide nor Sydney. It was Manila. Upon realizing that, I awoke from my dream, knowing it is definitely a dream. But somehow I had that feeling of achievement somwehat akin to knowing in your heart of hearts you have achieved something you have been so passionate about.

Weird as.

har-di-har-har...

currently stuck. just like when you step on a gum. you can still move...

your job defines you. most of the time, that is. i have yet to look for one that's gonna define me.

sydney. melbourne. singapore. new york. london.

s.t.a.t.i.c.

i have every other reason to let my emotions surge.

where did that inner tranquility hide itself?

the moment's ultimate desire: Break Free!

blurbs..

i know i need to vent... just not sure how, don't know where to start...

it's partly the noise around me seemingly caving in... mixed in with disappointments here and there, more due to the unexpected events rather than due to my own pessimism.

confused... darn... thought i've worked out my masta plan!

the brawl-y song

If I am lost for a day; try and find me But if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me All of the things that I thought were so easy just got harder and harder each day December is the darkest and June is the light but this empty bedroom won't make anything right While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home Who waits up for me all through the night Calendar girl whos in love with the world Stay alive Calendar Girl whos in love with the world Stay alive I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do And when I awoke I was sure it was true I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky And said whoever is up there,please don't let me die But I can't live forever,I can't always breath One day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea The pages keep turning, I'll mark off each day with a cross And I'll laugh about all that we've lost Calendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive Calendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive January,February,March,April,May I'm alive June,July,August,September,October I'm alive November,December,yah all through the winter, I'm alive I'm alive

the.epitome.of.KEWL

camera 5 = stage camera
that was me, tv crew
EasterConcert@TheSydneyConventionCentre

pre-tv crew rehearsal:
adrenalin rush. band rehearsing.
feel the creativity flowing. seemingly endless.
i could have stayed in that moment forever...

i wish i am...

... skipping stones.

take my time wiping my face clean after a busy day.
drink some milk, check my emails, slowly compose my blog.


... working on FLOOD and/or filming a short/feature/ad.

the passion burns... Walk the Line made me feel the flame all over again.
i have a long overdue lunch break journey to Saatchi & Saatchi.


... one of those born with luck on my side.

Woody Allen's latest masterpiece... in my world, it reads "frenchie vs me".
i love the overtly different, have tendencies thinking on extreme,
maybe even contradictory levels.

to have it rough makes you tough.

... living at that stage where Lyttleton's definition of happiness lies.

i want one and only one thing. 'nuff said.

Instant Gratification

People say that whenever you accidentally bite your tongue or the insides of your cheeks, you're being remembered. Whether that is good or bad is beyond me. For some reason, I've been a victim of myself, having suddenly developed steroids that have fattened my cheek tissues. I have accidentally bitten the insides of my left cheek whist eating, resulting to rather painfully chewed-on cheek interiors. If what people have said was true of course in the positive angle of things, I wouldn't mind going through life with that chewed-on cheek interior.

-----

Every single time I attempt to shove my foot into media, the little cat door closes. Perhaps it ain't time yet. It sure looks like now just ain't time for anything. I wondered quietly. I've started to wonder out loud.

-----

The alternative scene. The alternative art scene. Where passions burn and passions do not care about anything below the burning point. My veins begin to fill with that long missed lifeblood.

-----

Easter Monday. Day off. I am hanging out with g man and my bro.

that 'make your heart melt' song

When Did You Fall
Chris Rice

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile, and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at its joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right here before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?

Copyright 2005 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)

Marking the NB Chapter

Finally moved to Neutral Bay. We'll be doing a hefty amount of walking from now on. Went to work 3 times last week due to 1. pulling a sickie and 2. taking a day off to move stuff over to the new place.

Did the move Fri and Sats, both days are tiring but very productive. Need to unpack 3 boxes more (books, scarves, magazines, stationery and more soft toys) plus rearrange things big time.

Bernee came over Friday for a one-on-one talk about things that matter most. Was a rather quick one but I got so much out of it, more because of all the realizations involved.

Bought an oh so sweet cake for Pierre's bday. Had it with a lot of water and a good number of friends. He was happy. First birthday in Sydney, 3 birthday songs, 2 birthday cakes. Not bad at all.

Did a trip to Ikea yesterday and got a picture frame, a mirror and bathroom mats. I realized I have to take one of the drawer boxes back and swap it for another as they gave mom the wrong box previously. I wonder how we can take the wrong box over, and the right one back. Wish us luck.

I FINALLY got my exit interview form from SB. FINALLY. I had to email the HR lady, and she responded after a few minutes. Easy peasy and I was actually waiting for an apple to fall from the tree.

I have to once again live by To Do Lists and get organized. It's a choice, not a discipline. That['s something Bernee would have said.