what's in my briefcase?

Final say for the month of September, that is, looking at Manila time where I am now. My plate’s still full despite my supposed holiday mode. Bought three stellar CDs, which hopefully I get to enjoy, review, write about and then get my articles published, at least online.

Priorities rule. That would be passing my exams (read: accounting, translated: consolidation).

Holidays are holidays. I wish I can really make a holiday out of this so-called trip. This is more of a business trip. I can barely make time to meet up with my friends, much less even accomplish my goal-oriented tasks of doing tutorials and catching up at least a tad on readings.

However, bro took me out Monday night for dinner with a couple of new friends, one of whom turned out to be someone we’ve already known from yonkers and yonkers ago. It was pretty interesting. Spent a few hours with a couple of cool mates from uni here. Was all good. Great to catch up but not enough time. Loadsa errands in between and the bottomline of it all, not everyone knows I am in town, partly because I hardly have time to say hi. And mind you, I hate phone conversations.

I am currently holding my breath because of that which may be my fate, of that which may happen, of that which may be revealed.

But what the heck, first things first.

RED in the FACE

Today marks the end of the torture I've been having for three weeks now. The pains of midterm exams. I loathe them all the more these days. Pretty much wasted my day fretting about what was to come. That dreaded 40 multiple choice questions sound easy but I should know how complicated the seemingly simple pick-the-right-letter exams can be.

I stayed north the whole morning, came home for a really late lunch after buying groceries (finally!) and cooking veggie curry. I was trying to be healthy. It was a good attempt. Didn't do any studying thereafter. Just got sick of it.

I spent a fair bit of time trying to remember cases and there wasn't even a single mention of them in the exam. And yeah the exam was not complicated.

Had Korean at Haymerket with Al and then had icky coffee from next door. It wasn't meant to be icky but it really depends on who made it. When you know your coffee you become extremely fussy, obviously. And we headed to Darlo to meet up with Genie and her friends for her farewell thingo. Wasn't sure if it was dinner or drinks or both. Too many 'happy' people there. It was interesting. Yeah it was really a Darlinghurst crowd.

And so I am savoring the fresh air of freedom. Tomorrow's another busy day. A normal one this time. I have to get my bar article planning done.

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow. And the next week.

"Busy" sign up!

Haven't really been 'operating' properly. Perhaps my paranoia is striking again or something along those lines. Film people have psychological issues of some degree. At least that's a going thing in and out of film school.

I still have Company Law to worry about at this time but I'm choosing not to worry about for the next 30 to 60 minutes. It's been a day out of the normal Ivannah day.

Slept a tad too much, stayed home from the time I woke up til 6:45 at night when I was even intending to do shopping for me and Na. I've been trying to study. There's just too much stuff to read and I guess that's been pulling my mood down for a while now. Which also explains the extra hours of sleep I've been craving for.

Had cell today which was fab. Like almost 100% of the time I have to really drag myself to cell for a bunch of unexplainable, but a few explainable reasons. As of late, it's due to the fact that I barely know these people and I have no clue as to how the night is gonna go. But 100% of the time, so far, things have been way above expectations. People who pray for me have always been really inspiring. I always get overwhelmed, feeling special for ages and then when I look back to what they have prayed about I can't remember their exact words.

Work hasn't been very ideal for too long now. I feel a bit lost as to where to go and what to do. My other jobs are kinda in the air at the moment. They are semi new territories, still strange and I guess just more challenging hence the need for me to sit and figure things out plus condition myself before I actually attack. Sigh.

I feel lost. The balance is there nonetheless. A few realizations tonight. Just about life in general. I shouldn't be too pensive.

caught in midterm confusion

And so once again I am back in blog world... Been studying for Company Law. Or at least trying to. I can't even remember what I've been up to lately.

Main Goal for the rest of 2004: Pass my exams

I did a fair bit of hanging around work, as usual and we basically took turns being overwhelmed, at the same time annoyed at what our new manager have been doing to our store. The annoyance mainly came from the lack of basis of his actions. He hardly knew the trends, he didn't even bother to ask and then he just molded the store into his ideal. Or maybe just what he thinks our store should be like. It wasn't like he did it with utmost concern for our welfare. Oh well, we should survive. The Wynyard team is still very much together.

On the writing side of things, the Asian film writing stint is looking promising. However, expectations are to be kept at minimum. The other, seemingly more stable one has been postponed once again. How much more delays are coming? I guess that's the down side to being with anything that is just developing. Who knows what's gonna come out of this in the end?

Amy came over Friday night to watch chinese vcds. It was pretty entertaining but I ended up just half watching the second and third movie. I only had eyes for Infernal Affairs.

Went to Hillsong with Dex on Sunday. Amy was there, too. Had to study afterwards. Ugh and then came home to read more but kinda sneaked a magazine in between and then called it a day real soon.

Weird how I got a thank you letter for volunteering at the Hillsong Conference when I didn't! Are they gonna send me a certificate afterwards as well?

week 7 dramas

I'm starting to "stress" over some legalities. The clock is ticking! Yes, I can hear it loud enough thank you!

Work's not so great just because of what's coming. It's not out in the open yet that our immediate out of store managers are leaving the company. So what's gonna happen now? Is that the end of me, too?

I had to ditch work yesterday morning cos someone's been mucking around with our locks. It was an unnecessary hassle. On top of the time, there is also the cost. $80 for a 5-minute lock operation just to get the wires and super glue out of the key holes. How dumb. Either the strata does something about security here or me and Na are out of here.

I have two more exams to sit for. One of them's this arvo. Busy busy day ahead.

Released from the dungeon

I find myself free from most of the anxieties that bound me for the past X number of months. The angst has probably left me although there is that slightest tinge of doubt. I've walked through the remnants of things I was once so attached to. There was hardly anything that triggered any form of emotion. Such marks a journey towards the end if not the end itself.

[apparents]
A friend asked me why I decided to base myself at Hillsong instead of Wesley. I found it hard to articulate my abstract thoughts. He went on to narrating other friends' sides to the story which brough him to expressing about how the fellows in the ship are merely in a venue to find their other halves. My friend's further inquiry led to the conclusion that the 'society' is encouraging such partnerships and anything that might lead to such.

In my opinion, that should not be a main objective. Perhaps it is an underlying one. However, hearing that made me lean more towards my current decision.

[24]
It's a Friday thing to be sick. It was my birthday but with all the invisible and inapparent care in the world, I decided to let my laziness take over and so I decided to stay home the whole day where I did something semi-productive.

Still went out for dinner though. There was food, drinks, lotsa friends and all. Thinking back, it was such a contrast from last year in a sense probably only obvious to my eyes and to those who knew me best. However it was a nice celebration.

Spoke to a couple of friends who rang me from back home. I appreciate that like craaazzzyyy cos hardly anyone calls from philly! Not that they are obliged to. It was just really sweet.

I was once again reminded of how grown up my bro is. He messaged me saying he hasn't bought me a card or a gift so when I go home he'd take me out to dinner. That was cute. I miss my bro.

Oh and I love cards more than anything. Weirdness. Was glad I got some.

[ Nin Jiom OD]
Hell yeah, I'm still barking. And so I've been 'drinking' the lovely chinese herbal cough syrup Al bought me. That's prolly my bday pressie. Haha! Not that I mind. But yeah I really wanna get rid of my itchy itchy throat.

[side notes]
Finally got rid of the pyramid trap! I hope I wasn't too rude. I think I had the competitive advantage of shooing the predator away as she was having her yummy sausage roll and Js hot chocolate whilst I whizz by and drop off her CDs which I didn't even listen to.

It wasn't that easy though cos I had to spill out this half bull about having to rush to attend to some work-related crisis during the present time. Plus, I practically blacked out any future contacts by 'clueing' her in on my busy busy in the grey future. I was terribly relieved.

[turning 24 pressies]
1. my lurvely business cards which i'm still obssessed with
2. the tv crew spot
3. freeing myself from the pyramid hole
4. unexpected/upcoming hols
5. friends n family
6. the unexpected calls
7. and the rest of the tangible stuffs

*silly smile pasted on Ivannah's face*

Day-off tomorrow! It's my birthday, too! But haha I'm normally not psyched about my birthdays. If I were given a choice, I wouldn't really choose to have a birthday. I know that's insane. We're all entitled to our own thoughts though. And this is my blog so I can write anything.

Slept in a bit this morning so I was kinda late for work... Well I was actually intending to wake up a tad early so I can do a bit of ironing, at least good for today. I called it a night too early last night. And so I had to grab a black skirt and wear it to work, intending to come home after my 6-12 shift and iron + change prior to going to uni.

Work was a-ok. Just tiring cos there was only me and Sririn. We did a great job but yeah it just wears you out. Then I had to do a bit of admin work for Roy, the new manager cos Amanda went to the snow.... it was ok. The heat in the store was giving me a massive headache so I had to nick one of Edwin/Alison's Panadol.

I finished work just as I was to leave for uni... and got there right on the dot. Skirt and all... yeah. massive headache included...

I went to uni cos I need the course notes and the midterm tips... which the lecturer decided to reveal at the end of the lecture. I had coffee during the break. I haven't had coffee for a week and I was impressed by the uni soy mocha. I actually felt the caffeine going through my system and it shook me up... Pretty good job it did.

Midterm tips included the following:
A: 20 multiple choice (lease, construction contracts and mining)
B: writted (theory/calculations)

Very, very helpful indeed! Ugh!

But I daresay it was quite an achievement to have sat through the entirety of the 2.5 hour lecture. Whoa! I left uni very happy.

I had to drop by the store a second time as I realized I brought the deposit book with me. Haha! I didn't wanna get into trouble... so I ended up having afternoon tea and chatting sooo much with Pauline and John. It was fun. I love those people!

And so those things made my day happy. But then, I gotta prepare for midterms very soon. Can't afford to flunk!