dislike for dissonance

clock out time: 5:30pm

i was home 6-ish, had some lindt 85% chocolat noir and pondered whether i should go to the gym. maybe later, i thought, and proceeded to devour the saltless leftovers which consisted of the pasta from two nights ago and the minced beef with asparagus, which i cooked last night and which i had rice with for lunch.

washed down my dinner with some goji juice, washed up, and decided to 'relax' for whatever the word means. decided to ditch the gym. ok, postpone gym time to friday night. no night out for moi. besides, i need to learn a bit of french and 'relax' some more.

soaked my feet, downloaded the presentation Dan sent the team (volunteer work) and pushed away the thought of having done zilch for Friday's End of Year Party promo except download a retro tv graphic.

i cannot get myself to do any more work for the day. i am tired and drained as it is. inspired? not at all. i cannot even look forward to my upcoming days off as i might have to go on unpaid leave. not that i mind not being paid for going in but i feel slack. but then again, who cares. seriously. i have to convince myself that this is merely a way to get by. five years later, it's going to be a footnote to a footnote.

whether or not i will get to go on holidays come feb 07, may 07 and sept 07 is way out of the question for the time being. these are rather highlights to my year. and my bro came home today asking why i look sad. because i am, because i am. i cannot even hide it anymore.

priorities, priorities.maybe it's time for some shut-eye.

Swing,Mood,Swing

i should be sleeping.
i am tired.
my eyes are tired.

am i not almost blind?

blind from staring at computer screens.
blind from trying to reconcile all those numbers.
blind from the tubes of mascara that i try to consume.

i retire into the night to a more peaceful state.
post-whinging to friends from the old days.
post saltless but sugary dinner.
post six, no, seven bags of green tea.

thank goodness for expressive, encouraging producers.
thank goodness for empowering sermons.
thank goodness for true friends, true loves, dreams and blogs.

darned two weeks or so...

pardon me while i get ultra emotional, uber irrational and hot-tempered.

it's all bottled up. i'll vent out time and time again via different channels.

dang this diet. dang all the things i have to do.

i wish i can zone out until the whole darned thing's over. better yet, until 2006 is over.

weird-weathered town

I have finally finished drafting two appraisal forms for work. My supervisor goes on holiday next week. Fingers-crossed it won't be busy.

The big fan of days-off that I am, I've bailed out of two weekend activities and have decided to catch up on more forty winks. My head is heavy or light from sleeping a tad over the threshold. I cannot even decide.

I have just realised, from reading a Sophia Coppola article, that I have seen all of her movies (Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation). Looking forward to her version of Marie Antoinette, which has a contemporary take. Dang, it's not showing til 26 December. I'd go for a 9am movie if that should be the case!

* Still set on winning that Oscar*

wish me luck

At 9:15am, I was just walking into work. I should have been there at 8:30am. But today, I woke up at 8:00am due to having gone to bed at 3-ish. The previous night it was a 2am bedtime.

Been editing a video clip. Time of my life. Started playing around with After Effects and then Premiere.

Been thinking about 2006, pretty much racking my brain for those significant turn of events. Come to think of it, I've met so many new people, those types that tend to stick by. Little windows have opened into media, too and perhaps a more realistic look at 'travelling'.

01nov06 pig-out: